Matters of the Heart – Romance Scams & Online Imposters
Hello and welcome back! This month, we’re diving into scams that prey on your kind heart . Romance scams and social media imposters are rampant, and they can fool even the savviest among us. In fact, romance scam victims lost over $1 billion in 2023 alone – the highest ever for this type of fraud. Let’s ensure you and your loved ones don’t become part of that statistic.
The Romance Scam Red Flags
Romance scammers often lurk on dating apps, Facebook, or Instagram, pretending to be interested in a relationship. They build trust over weeks or months – and then eventually ask for money under some urgent, emotional pretext. Remember: if an online “sweetheart” you’ve never met in person asks for money or gift cards, that’s a huge red flag and almost certainly a scam. Here are other warning signs:
- Too Good to Be True: Their profile looks perfect – attractive photos, great job, widowed or in the military (often used as excuses for not meeting). They shower you with loving messages quickly (classic “love bombing” ) and push for a serious relationship fast.
- Always Unavailable to Meet: There’s always an excuse – they’re working overseas, on an oil rig, deployed in the military, or have a strict contract. They cancel video chats and in-person plans repeatedly. Scammers want to avoid face-to-face contact so you can’t verify their identity.
- Sob Stories and Emergencies: Once you’re emotionally invested, the scammer hits you with a crisis. It could be a medical emergency, a financial setback, a stranded travel situation – and they’ll ask you to help financially. For example, “I need $2,000 for my surgery, I’ll pay you back” or “My wallet was stolen while traveling, can you wire me some money?” . These pleas are designed to exploit your compassion.
- Requests for Gift Cards/Crypto: Instead of normal payment methods, scammers often ask for gift card codes, cryptocurrency, or wire transfers. These are largely irreversible and untraceable – once you send that Amazon or iTunes gift card code, the money is gone. Legitimate loved ones won’t insist on odd payment methods .
Stay Safe: Never send money or share banking info with someone you haven’t met in person. Do a reverse image search of their profile pictures (to see if they stole the photos from someone else), and consider running a basic online background check. Talk to a trusted friend about the situation – an outside perspective can spot red flags you missed. Remember, real love will understand if you’re cautious and won’t pressure you into financial secrecy.
Finally, trust your instincts. If something feels off or too fast, hit pause. Your heart may be open, but keep your eyes open too. 🙂
Stay secure while dating online – try a service like BeenVerified to verify someone’s background or identity. It’s not foolproof, but it can uncover if your new online interest is hiding something (like a different age or marital status). Above all, never rush into sending money. Your safety comes first!