In short: A romance scam is when someone you meet on a dating app, Facebook or Instagram pretends to want a relationship, then asks you for money. They build trust for weeks or months, shower you with affection, and always have a reason they cannot meet or video chat, such as working overseas, being on an oil rig or serving in the military. Then comes the emergency: surgery, a stolen wallet, a travel crisis. They often ask for gift card codes, cryptocurrency or a wire transfer, which are hard to trace and almost impossible to undo. Romance scam victims lost over one billion dollars in 2023. Never send money or banking details to someone you have not met in person. Do a reverse image search on their photos, consider a basic background check, and talk the situation over with a trusted friend. Trust your instincts. If something feels too fast, hit pause.
Matters of the Heart – Romance Scams & Online Imposters
Some scams prey on a kind heart. Romance scams and social media imposters are rampant, and they can fool even the savviest among us. In fact, romance scam victims reported losing $1.14 billion in 2023 – the most of any imposter-scam type that year, though 2022 was worse still at $1.3 billion. Let’s ensure you and your loved ones don’t become part of that statistic.
The Romance Scam Red Flags
Romance scammers often lurk on dating apps, Facebook, or Instagram, pretending to be interested in a relationship. They build trust over weeks or months – and then eventually ask for money under some urgent, emotional pretext. Remember: if an online “sweetheart” you’ve never met in person asks for money or gift cards, that’s a huge red flag and almost certainly a scam. Here are other warning signs:
- Too Good to Be True: Their profile looks perfect – attractive photos, great job, widowed or in the military (often used as excuses for not meeting). They shower you with loving messages quickly (classic “love bombing” ) and push for a serious relationship fast.
- Always Unavailable to Meet: There’s always an excuse – they’re working overseas, on an oil rig, deployed in the military, or have a strict contract. They cancel video chats and in-person plans repeatedly. Scammers want to avoid face-to-face contact so you can’t verify their identity.
- Sob Stories and Emergencies: Once you’re emotionally invested, the scammer hits you with a crisis. It could be a medical emergency, a financial setback, a stranded travel situation – and they’ll ask you to help financially. For example, “I need $2,000 for my surgery, I’ll pay you back” or “My wallet was stolen while traveling, can you wire me some money?” . These pleas are designed to exploit your compassion.
- Requests for Gift Cards/Crypto: Instead of normal payment methods, scammers often ask for gift card codes, cryptocurrency, or wire transfers. These are largely irreversible and untraceable – once you send that Amazon or iTunes gift card code, the money is gone. Legitimate loved ones won’t insist on odd payment methods .
Stay Safe: Never send money or share banking info with someone you haven’t met in person. Do a reverse image search of their profile pictures (to see if they stole the photos from someone else), and consider running a basic online background check. Talk to a trusted friend about the situation – an outside perspective can spot red flags you missed. Remember, real love will understand if you’re cautious and won’t pressure you into financial secrecy.
Finally, trust your instincts. If something feels off or too fast, hit pause. Your heart may be open, but keep your eyes open too.
Stay secure while dating online – try a background-check service to verify someone’s background or identity. It’s not foolproof, but it can uncover if your new online interest is hiding something (like a different age or marital status). Above all, never rush into sending money. Your safety comes first!
